Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You are the jesus of drinking
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
