yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
