Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
