I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
