your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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