her vagine was all disorganized.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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