and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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