Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
