This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
