my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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