How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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