Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
