Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
