now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
