we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
