Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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