i jhust puked up my retainher.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
