when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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