I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
