Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
