I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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