Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
