i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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