Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
