me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
