I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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