Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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