and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
