This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
