Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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