Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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