if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
