we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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