so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
