Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
