how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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