Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
