Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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