They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think people are normalizing furries
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
