She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
