like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
