he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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