Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
