We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
