We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
