What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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