Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
