she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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