but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
