Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm like, not good at living.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
